Not Honoring His Wishes

As some may have experienced after the death of a loved one, while grief is pushed to the side, you are busy planning a Celebration of Life, writing an epic obituary, what to wear, and how would my husband want to be honored.... or not be honored.

Big Garland didn't want a military service, "Just cremate me, take me to the lake, bury me with my dad in the family cemetery, and go home." Why wouldn't you want a military service? "Because that isn't why I served," was his answer to just about anything I ever asked about his military service. Until his Celebration of Life I didn't know anything about his time in the military. I heard so many amazing stories and, in that moment, I became an extremely proud United States Army Veteran's Wife.

As planned with two of our daughters, Moira and Macy, and my friend, Samantha, my husband would end up with a 4-day service. “Sorry baby, but you are so worth every bit of this, and more.”

I asked two people to speak at his funeral, his preacher from his hometown and a preacher in our town that we knew. Then, on August 19th I received a phone call from Captain Corey Blankenship with the 1-149th Infantry. Y’all, this is the same infantry my husband deployed with, and Corey was amazing to want to help honor Big Garland. The following morning Corey came to my house at 11 am to sit with me and talk about everything I wanted from him for my husband. About 15 minutes before Corey arrived, I received a message from the preacher that was to deliver the funeral message, his wife was to be quarantined and he wouldn’t be able to make it. When I told Corey he suggested the Chaplain from the 1-149th Infantry. I was so excited to see how this was falling into place. It was almost like God was putting all of this in place because my husband deserved to be honored with a military service.

It was amazing to sit on the front row and see two amazing men who have sacrificed so much for our country stand up in their military uniform and honor my husband. I was so proud of the message as the chaplain said, “It doesn’t bother me to see bourbon and a Bible in Jerry’s casket, that is just who he is!”

Since the day I had made the funeral arrangements, I kept thinking I wanted to speak at his funeral. I was so nervous as the time drew closer. My husband would have been so mad at me (he he he he) but I couldn’t wait to get up and talk about what an amazing husband he was. I told three stories (I will make blog entries about those later) how we met, when I filed for divorce, and our last argument. I nailed it and I was so happy to be able to make people laugh during such an emotional time!

American Legion Post #38 and the Patriot Guard did an amazing job presenting the flag, playing Taps, 21-gun salute, standing guard at the door, lining the front lawn of the funeral home with flags, and leading the procession. Not to mention, ALP #38 also came to the graveside and played Taps and some of the service members that knew my husband also spoke.

In closing, it was a perfect military service! #TillValhalla